Growing up I used to think that it was vital for me to have the people who were suppose to care about me the most believe in me. I thought that if I had their belief in me then it meant that I had permission to flourish. It meant that I was accepted. There was nothing more that I wanted back then. Looking back now I realize how foolish I was to want their acceptance. I realized how foolish I was to think that I needed their permission in order for me to flourish and succeed.
Although it is not a bad thing to want to be accepted and wanted by the people around you, I also realize that one can be just as strong and powerful without their acceptance and support. I realized that I did myself a disservice by attaching my worth and relevancy to people who I would never hear from again.
Even though things have not significantly changed for me since this realization, I do find myself less attached to people if I don't have to be. To be quite honest I love people but I had to learn that not everyone who was around me was good for me. Surely it took me a while to learn such a lesson because I always wanted to see what I wanted and not what was showing.
I don't regret learning such a lesson though. It forced me to get better at discerning others and doing a better job at seeing the motives that someone might have or might not have but a certain characteristic flaw on their end could be damaging to me.
It's such a bittersweet lesson. I wouldn't be who I am today without going through the heartbreak and disappointment that came with it.
There is one thing I want you to remember. I want you to remember that you have to be enough for you without them. That's the only way to survive in this world. You have to believe that even when you lose someone, you'll be fine without them.
Move on. Live your life. Don't spend it wanting people who didn't want you. Donn't spend your life trying to love people who can't love you back.
You're safer without them.
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